my reflections the enemy

iv decided i have no will power!
I HATE IT!!!
i have a good day then do somthing little wrong so i figure may aswell fk up the rest of my day now grrrrr!! YYYYYY??
i just wish i wish i could keep at it for long enough to lose  wat would get me motivated then i think i could stick to it!
i just hate everything abut myself. y is it so fkn hard?? what did i do rong? y cant i just say NO!! when will i be happy with my body? WILL W EVER BE HAPPY??
whooo knowwwwsssss...... =(

Current Mood: frustrated

tonights been bad... to much food.
2moro it all starts!! im gonna eat little to no food..
might go to the gym after work.. 
and then im goin out to get pissed with my bf so the empty stomake will help me get drunk off less drinks therefore not drinkin as much kjs as i would have had i eaten...!
so yes im happy to start fresh!!
starting weight.. OMFG!! i just went n weighed myself (its night time but.. but still)
im 60kgs fuckkk!! thats the heaviest iv ever been!! omg! im sooo depressed! last saturday i was 54kg F*#K F*%K F#*K!!!!!! 
ok so this makes the IM NOT EATING!! thing even more meaningful!
im starting my fast 2moro!!
yay cant weight!
fuck im dumb... =(

Current Mood: angry